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Premier League: A Club by Club Review of Matchday 1 Using the 2019 Edinburgh Fringe's Best Jokes

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I'm so formal I've never been involved in any argy bargy, or if we're going to be formal about it: Argentina bargentina.

And to celebrate all being well, it all being gravy, why not combine two of our favourite things - football and comedy - to review the first weekend of the 2019/20 season?



That’s 20 cows.



(?Olaf Falafel) Every Fantasy Premier League manager hates him for it, but no matter how much Pep Guardiola rotates his starting XI, it works.

Ika, meaning 'Sunday', and keya, meaning 'f**king ruined'.

BUT, he never scored a single Premier League goal, while Harry Kane has scored 127.

(?Rob Oldham) In July, Harry Kane turned 26.
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